Merry Christmas!

It would be inappropriate of me to not wish my empty webspace a very merry christmas and a jolly happy new year.

Think good thoughts, rest well and stuff that face of yours while the food is free. lol.

Till the new year, all the best. :)

Blood and Water

They say you cant choose your family, but to thank God you can choose your friends. I think thats a very wise saying.

They say that blood is thicker than water. Some wise guy came up with a deep meaning about that which is really quite debatable in this age and day.

I say, families....theyre fun for a day. You go out, have some prawns and chat over chips. But that should be it. Anything more than that equals to complete and utter annoyance.....rampaging resentment and the usual withdrawal that comes with it.

I actuallly think its healthier to live away from certain members of your family, because apparently they live to tear down all that you have built in order to maintain that superficial superiority over you.

......i should place a string of very rude words here....... -.-

Reduction Correlation...

Reduction in internet speed leads to reduction in sleep.
Reduction in sleep leads to reduction in mental alertness.
Reduction in mental alertness leads to reduction in awareness of the surroundings.
Reduction in awareness of surroundings leads to reduction in blood volume.
Reduction in blood volume leads to reduction of living years, ie death.

Thus you see how dangerous primitive technology is.

Stupid dial-up . . . . !@#$%^&*()!!!!!

Just another one of those great moments when you chew your fingers to stubs and you dont feel like doing anything in particular.......

Princess Mononoke...

I learnt how to play the theme song for Miyazaki's Princess Mononoke. I tell you... its such a beautiful song. We practised it for the first time in a band last night, and there was piano, violin, viola, cello, drums, accoustic and electric guitar. It sounded sooo nice. And we practised in this old church, so the accoustics was amazing.

Last night I kept playing it till the wee hours of the morning and I reached a stage where the line between conciousness and unconciousness blurred.... and while playing it I imagined blue butterflies dancing amidst waterfall mist and a sun-speckled forest floor. It was a beautiful state to be in. I didn't want to go, and I stubbornly kept going on till I got it wrong too many times to be happy. So I went to bed.

But I tell you, that is a most beautiful song, and that is a most wonderful state to be in. The land of eternal peace, the land where fairies exist. I want to go back there tonight.

Matrix Revolutions

I finally watched the Matrix Revolutions yesterday. It wasnt too bad. Lots of heart-string tugging moments, what with love being the true hero of the movie and all. I must say though that the ending was abit unsatisfying. I will go no further in respect of the people who have not watched it..... but I will keep my thoughts for another week or so.

The Importance Of Being....

I was talking to my sister yesterday and she said that I've become a nerd. That I was not fun anymore. I got the impression that perhaps I had become too grave. This is because I've always had a certain level of pride in education and my knowledge in science, which certainly would not have increased tremendously from when I last talked to her. I asked her what it was to be fun. She said acting like a 14-year-old.

I didnt like being 14....it was a hard year for me. I grew alot in that year.

I then told her maybe I've grown. And I thought....how horrible. One thing I've noticed about adults is their lack of ability to find anything other than themselves important. Children regard everything as potentially important. The worm in the ground, their favourite soft toy, the reasons to everything they see and dont see. Adult importances revolve around less arbritrary substances, and they always put the importance of being an adult before the importance of anything else. As for children, it is usually the other way around.

I cannot quite grasp the essence of the difference in importances, however I tether bewteen the likelihood of both ends and I fear that I am creeping towards the one which I for so long longed and yet disliked.

This is a rather worrying moment for me. When you are a child, adulthood is but an arm's reach away. But once you become an adult, you will never become a child again. Senility does not count, by the way. I must preserve the child in me lest I forget. I will be terribly sad if that day ever came, when the child in me crawls out in mournful disgust at how viscous my soul had become because of adult importances. It will flee, and my chambers will never again resonate with it's laughter.

Ugh...

Its such a hot day today. Honestly, Australia is like either too cold or too hot. You only ever get a total of 2/3 weeks of just-nice days.

Its horrible to sweat consistently....makes you feel unproductive and grimy. Sweat makes poor swurple pickle.

>.< ;

Overwhelmed...

Well this is it. End of the year, end of exams, end of so many things....and the beginning for so many other things. Theres a whole rampage of emotions churning in my fragile soul, begging to be released. But it cannot. It must not. We must be part of society. We cannot do the things that make people uncomfortable. And this is what makes my soul so fragile, so precious.

My emotions, they play in my heart like an ochestra, multiple lilts multiple tones. Marbled light flit through the crystal chamber and are reflected in my eyes, my speech, my thoughts. The world seeks to numb you. They tell you to be happy and that happiness is the ultimate goal. Pitiful beings. It is in pain, in sorrow that makes things beautiful. It is in suffering that allows you to truly feel, in torture when one truly understands. I am not morbid, nor am I suicidal. I am merely stating the facts of life.

Happiness is a wonderful thng. I thrive on happiness. In fact, I can honestly say that Im happy 78.3% of the time. But there come times when I forget what it is to be human and this is when I appreciate the sting of hidden hurts. It makes me swell with emotion and this is what makes life worth living. . . . emotions.

And guess what?

I'm overwhelmed.

To The Them

My goodness...yesterday, I saw this street busker....he's japanese and was touring for half a year before settling in Australia for the other half year to promote his album. He is SO GOOD! He's a solo accoustic guitarist and honest to goodness, his method of playing is very VERY unique. I have NEVER seen anyone play like him before, and it sounds fantastic.

I think his name is Naoki Jo or something.... his techniques just takes my breath away. Amazing....absolutely amazing.

Its really weird and wonderful the things we come across just in our daily lives. All these people whom God had bestowed mountless gifts upon... and without knowing it, they use it to bless other people. But thats the way God's gifts work, isnt it. For the good of His creation.

Man, now Im like looking at my guitar and not wanting to play anymore ;p hahaha

Finding Me

Don't tell me
How to be
'Cause I like some suffering...
Don't ask me
What I need
I'm just fine
Here finding me
Me...

*Taken from Finding Me, Vertical Horizon*

* shakes fist at fate *

I want to play the violin... ;.;

The Australian Dollar.

The Aussie Dollar has risen to an astronomical stature. I cant believe how strong it is. An Aus dollar can now buy 70 US cents...

This means that every meal I eat now although the price has not risen, but Im paying more because of the exchange rate. The last time I checked, 1 Aus dollar bought RM2.8 And, referring to my previous blog, that 5 sen equates to a grand total of RM 0.17857... not even 1 measly cent. How can you buy booze with 0.17857 sens? Even rotten fruit costs more than that. Criminal...absolutely criminal.

Me and my negative valued 5 sen coin. :(

P.S: sen is malaysian currency, not to be mixed up with cents.

letmerambleletmebe

Sit around doing nothing wanting all but needing nothing world is spinning around it goes spin world spin around God's toes what you see may not be all whats the point if nothing falls muddy streets and gangrene shoes dustbin treats and five cent booze clean my teeth dont touch my hair stew my bed fudge up my chair a burning deep within my throat rises bursts forth drown that boat what on earth could chew it all what on earth could make me crawl leave me alone i care not you leave me awake i fear not you.

Swurpliness...

How tragic. I like to be different. I live to be different. I like to be a pioneer and the best compliment I could ever get is a statement my extreme eccentricity (or genius but I hardly ever recieve one of the latter ;p ). Im even weird by genetic default (Im blood type AB...only 3% of the people in the world are. *beams proudly* ). The point is. . .

One day I signed up for this sms thingy my fren asked me to join and would you know it, my name was taken. My wonderfully unique and special name. My personification of 5 years, stolen by some uncreative coward. How tragic. I truly feel as if a part of me has been ripped apart. My jealousy and protectiveness for this name, which I deem MY name, is overwhelming. How dare he. How dare she. HOW DARE THEY!!!!

Tragic......

The Easy Life, or lack thereof...

I've come across many quotes in my life and one of them goes, " Life was never meant to be easy. " Who exactly said that? Would you deem that statement to be highly presumptious? To state that life was MEANT to be hard, torturous labour? What does this statement mean?

Daily life seems to be a neverending struggle. Sure, we have our pockets of joy here and again but most of it seems to be a monotonous journey, a futile fight for whatever it is we have been taught to be important. For most it revolves around the sound Bla Bling! This is life, as we see it. Or is this a consequence/reward of life?

Life also means the creation or birth of a new being. That too seems to be a complex issue, what with mitosis and meiosis and the excrutiating childbearing pains. The countless failures etched with the familiar pockets of joy. The best analogy for this thought would be coral mass spawning. Imagine thousands and thousands of corals within a single reef releasing all their gametes at the same time. What a spectacle! What a triumphant dance of life!! And to some.....what a feast!!!!! All save 3% will survive this massacre.

And then there is Life....given to us,humans, freely by God through the death of Jesus. Life that is not monotonous nor futile. Life that is not a series of failures pocketed with patches of happiness. Life that is not by chance, or which lasts for the first hour or so. This life which we have is Eternal Life. A one in a million chance to have our being serving and praising God for absolute eternity. How glorious it seems compared to the mundane lif we lead down on earth but many are blinded by the shiny new things they can accumulate on earth. All the BlaBlingness of Life. They fail to notice the soft reflected glory of God shining down on them, providing them wih all the BlaBling. How stubborn our eyes are. How defiant our ears and hard our hearts. Too easy, too easy some people muse with doubt. Yes. It was very easy, wasnt it, when Jesus hung on the cross bleeding to death. Mocked and whipped by the very breed He CHOSE to save. Too easy when Jesus who endured all evils was disconnected from the only thing that ever mattered to Him. All He ever wanted was to please God and to do His will and to be in relationship with Him but we stripped that of Jesus as well. Any gratitude? None. Even this life was not easy.

End line: Indeed, presumptious or not, the quote "Life was never meant to be easy" holds alot of truth. Even if the immediate life looks easy, it wasn't always so. Someone had to do all the dirty work and go the hard yards. Moral of the story:

~*~ If your life is easy, don't take it for granted.
~*~ If your life is hard, look to God for strength.
~*~ If the above doesn't make sense, think abit harder.
~*~ If you can't think abit harder, you have an extremely easy life and simple mind.

Oh me oh my

Hello tis me again (yes tis, and not its)..
Its (yes its, and not tis) been quite awhile since I have visited this dimension. I have been away, visiting this manisfestation called the real world. I must say there isnt much in it that is very good, and yet it is satisfyingly substantial. The "web" allows freedom of creativity and dreams, but thats all it stays as. Pixelated versions of what we hope for (unless you're an Ebay junkie). Yes but its strangely calming to enter again this land of familiarity. This land of infinite goodness, this land of no consequence.

i can finally reveal again this tattered side of me where appearance doesnt matter. Aaahhh...... :)

Meh...

* cling to li'yanna *

i miss you. :(

My genetic half

Hello to you my genetic half
Its been quite awhile since we have crossed paths
I look in the mirror and i see part of you
Im reminded of the distance between us
Its hard to be so far when we're genetically so close
You're the closest genetic being that I have
Our roots run deeper, entwine stronger than any other thespian
Just the two of us within a genetically diversed home
An island... my genetic half.

Miss you sis.

Crappiness

Today is a crappy day.
A crappy day beyond compare.
I wish it wasnt so crappy.
But it is.
I guess Ive finally hit the part of the life cycle which states that one's life must be crappy in order for it to be good.

What a crappy law....

Respiratory Quotient (RQ)

Apparently all living organisms respire and this includes germinating seedlings. But they dont undergo photosynthesis till they actually grow some leaves so they tap into their food store and use that as a substrate. Apparently you can determine the substrate used by determining the Respiratory Quotient (RQ) by counting the number of moles of carbon dioxide produced over the number of moles of oxygen consumed. Carbohydrates will have an RQ value of 0.5, fats/oils that of 0.7 and protein that of 0.5- 1.0 depending on the type of protein utilised. I just had to write a report on legumes utilising protein as the substrate indicating that it contains alot of protein. And we didnt know that before we entered uni.

Oxymoron of Freedom.

I used to have freedom, but in it I was longing. And now I feel fulfilled. But I have become a prisoner. Yet I think I was a prisoner all along....just that now I am a happier prisoner. Now I share my prison cell with someone else, and maybe I feel the restrictions more because I have tasted more freedom. Or maybe its because I will always yearn for what I have not.

One begins to wonder if its better to have everything you desire and sacrifice some freedom or to become noble and not let anything stand in the way of personal freedom. Wars have been fought over the aspect of freedom yet in our daily lives we let it slip away. Meaningless....

Warpness II...

I remember now.

Blog Warp:
Is it me or does blog keep changing her fonts/distribution sizes? *scratch scratch* o_o?

Warpness...

Time Warp:
One morning I set my alarm to 7.30am. It rang, I woke up and closed my eyes for two minutes (checking for cracks in my eyelids). When I opened my eyes again, after two minutes, the clock read 8.30am. Man. . . . .

Brain Warp:
Just two minutes ago I had this occasional flash of brilliance and was gonna write something enormously witty here but I've yet again forgotten. Man. . . . .

Hydrosockaphobia

Upon embarking on a conversation with a friend at church last night, I have encountered a condition of mine which I must say is pretty rare. Many things about me are rare but see if you have met anyone with Hydrosockaphobia.

Hydrosockaphobia is a condition where the person suffering from it has a phobia of wet socks.

In my case, the reason behind this is because I keep thinking that by walking around in wet socks, mushrooms will grow on my feet. Its bizzare I know, but its a condition that cannot be helped. Mushroomy feet. SPeaking of mushroomy feet.... I also think that if I breath around mushrooms that the spores will enter my lungs and sprout. Ew.... o.o;

Pseudo-ale

Apparently if you mix equal amounts of coke and orange juice, you get a somewhat funny coloured drink that tastes like Ginger Ale. Try it.

Ulcers

I curse ye ulcers, I curse ye
You're nothing but trouble, despair art me
I cannot even polish my mandabilic prongs
Without feeling thy sting on my singer of songs.

Indeed thy curse I curse as well
It may well be that within thou'st dwell
A mournful regret to match my own
As you eat at my flesh, reach for my bone.

It may also well be that I brought this on myself
All the boxes of chocolates now missing on my shelf
All the late nights and days spent worrying for work
All the socials and dinners, i really went bezerk.

Now that I think of it, there is no one to blame
All of our faults are equally the same
It was really quite wrong of me to place the ulcer in scorn
I shouldve been like Job and said, " I wish I were never born!"

Hahahahahaha... man that Job guy is soOOoo funny/pathetic. :P

Choir

At an ordination service today, I heard the choir sing. It was marvellous. Just standing there and hearing them lift their voices to honour and glorify God was just absolutely breath-taking. And back in Malaysia, my church consists of a shop-lot. Nothing grandeur but its the contents that count right? :) Yea and at church today, standing amongst God's people in an old sandstone church with sunlight filtering through the stained-glass windows, listening to the choir.... again I was reminded of God's glory. Again I was reminded of His beauty, His holiness, His magnificence. And I thought as I have thought many times before...this is what Heaven is going to be like. Just us, His people focusing all our energy on God, resonating His glory. Being so utterly overwhelmed by His majesty that one could only hope that He created us with a heart that is big enough to bear the wonder of being in His presence.

In so many ways You've loved me
Just as I am not as I should be
And as Your child You take a hold of me
I see just why Ive fallen in love with You...

The purest love that I have ever known
Whats that You chose to give and die
And the blood that poured from Your open hands
All so I could fall in love with You...

Ive got to worship You my Lord
I cant contain the way I feel
Im desperate for You Lord
For its You, that I adore....

song from Fusion, Brisbane

Unforgetful You

I never minded calling You a King
If that meant that I could count on You to give me everything
I never thought to ask You
I always thought You knew
It was never my intention to question You...

You never minded calling me a child
Well I guess thats how Ive acted all the while
But You live through every tantrum
You see through every lie
it seems to be so common
I just wanted to know why oh why...

Unforgetful You.....unforgetful.
Unforgetful You.....You're so unforgetful.

You never minded giving us the stars
And then showing us how blind and unaware of You we are
You painted me a picture
And You showed me how to see
But I just wont behold it
Unless it pertains to me...

Unforgetful You......unforgetful.
Unforgetful You......You're so unforgetful.

written and composed by Jars Of Clay, from the album If I left The Zoo.

Emotional Homeostasis...

Do you think that life contains an emotional homeostasis? That is, when there is excess of one emotion, it is eventually countered by another of an opposite element such that a feeling of "bla-zeh" is achieved? Many people talk about life having their ups and downs and why do you think that is? There must be a universal emotional Receptor to recieve these impulses, send them to a Control Centre (possibly a celestial pentagon) and then to the Effector (possibly God Himself). That is why the sayings of "When you hit rock bottom, theres nowhere else to go but up" and " If you laugh too much now, you'll cry alot later" are inversely popular (maybe not so much the latter of Chinese origin).

Thinking of my life now, I am so happy I couldn't possibly be any happier. If I was any happier the Heavens would burst and ochestrate melodies of divine content. Obviously that hasn't happened yet so when it does, be sure to hug me otherwise I would be traumatised for life. If I say that it has happened but nobody else has experienced it, please drag me to a drug rehab centre, regardless of my vicious threats to decapitate you. But I can also look back and remember desolute days and bitter thoughts and moments of such anguish that even choirs of cherubims could not manifest warmth in the dungeon that was my soul. And thus I conclude, "for every up there is a down, for every smile there is a frown, and thats what makes the world go round!" (an excerpt of the song from Disney's 'Sword in the Stone'). Maybe for people with more internal pressure, the homeostasis never really hits neutrality. This is especially true for younger people.

Children have alot of passion. Passion creates energy. Energy builds internal pressure, and that is why children are never quite what we percieve as "normal". They always do things in extremes....when they play, when they talk/scream, when they eat....even their thinking is rather eccentric and is inevitably cherished by society these days. However their passion is blind passion. Its an instinctive passion. When they hit teenhood, their innocence is no longer a barrier and their passion becomes knowledgable passion. They become too darn smart for their own good and they know it. And it builds on their passion. This is why teens also act (or react) with equal amounts of extremity and yes, their thoughts too are quite odd, but obviously not as cherished by society due to the fact that the thoughts of your average teen is not so easily handled and manipulated as that of a 3 year old. Internal pressure... building, building. One day happy, one day depressed, one day loving, the other suicidal. Building, building.

Then you hit adulthood. And for some evolutionary reason, all the pressure is let loose. Internal pressure, going, going. Passion for life, receding, receding. Living for the moment......a thing of the past. Emotional homeostasis works it's magic on you and then life becomes a routine. You experience the bladahness of everyday life and even though you realise it, few struggle to escape it. The neutrality corrodes at your life, eating away all forms of passion and creativity and zest. Before you know it, you've hit midlife crisis and at the next blink of an eye, you're drinking tea on your rocking chairs complaining about the young wasting their youth. YOU WASTED YOUR YOUTH! You had a chance to build up passion, you had a chance to overcome the neutrality of the universal emotional homeostasis and YOU BLEW IT! Dont go blaming your regrets on us kids. Ive lost my point..... Simpsons is on now.

Catch ya later.

August...

After Julius's grandnephew Augustus defeated Marc Antony and Cleopatra, and became emperor of Rome, the Roman Senate decided that he too should have a month named after him. The month Sextillus (sex = six) was chosen for Augustus, and the senate justified its actions in the following resolution:

Whereas the Emperor Augustus Caesar, in the month of Sextillis . . . thrice entered the city in triumph . . . and in the same month Egypt was brought under the authority of the Roman people, and in the same month an end was put to the civil wars; and whereas for these reasons the said month is, and has been, most fortunate to this empire, it is hereby decreed by the senate that the said month shall be called Augustus.

Not only did the Senate name a month after Augustus, but it decided that since Julius's month, July, had 31 days, Augustus's month should equal it: under the Julian calendar, the months alternated evenly between 30 and 31 days (with the exception of February), which made August 30 days long. So, instead of August having a mere 30 days, it was lengthened to 31, preventing anyone from claiming that Emperor Augustus was saddled with an inferior month.

To accommodate this change two other calendrical adjustments were necessary:

--> The extra day needed to inflate the importance of August was taken from February, which originally had 29 days (30 in a leap year), and was now reduced to 28 days (29 in a leap year).

--> Since the months evenly alternated between 30 and 31 days, adding the extra day to August meant that July, August, and September would all have 31 days. So to avoid three long months in a row, the lengths of the last four months were switched around, giving us 30 days in September, April, June, and November.

Among Roman rulers, only Julius and Augustus permanently had months named after them—though this wasn't for lack of trying on the part of later emperors. For a time, May was changed to Claudius and the infamous Nero instituted Neronius for April. But these changes were ephemeral, and only Julius and Augustus have had two-millenia-worth of staying power.

by Borgna Brunner, taken form the below website as of 1 August 2003
http://www.infoplease.com/spot/99aughistory1.html

One Big Scary

You know whats a scary thing? God's discipline. That is one big scary piece of pill to swallow. Like... man. When you ask God to discipline you right...its soo hard okay. He puts you in all kinds of situations and because you're such an imperfect person, you dont react to them in a proper and/or Godly manner. And it hurts people and it puts you into such fixes and man o man is it ever tiring and unmentionably irritating. And the thing is....you know you got to keep working at it and yea, you cant ever give up even though its like the easiest way out.... cos like once you start slacking, you slip away and you lose all the "Godliness" that you've obtained/learnt throughout all these hard disciplining sessions. And when you finally wake up (that is if you ever!) and remove your rose-tinted sunglasses....its discouraging to see the amount of damage that has been done and to see how much you've fallen and yea...how much further you're getting away from being a Godly person and thus being a person that lives in obedience to God's word.

Like personally, lately..... I can see so much work that needs to be done to repatch my life up. Im honestly not looking forward to all the work because changing yourself is such a long and arduous process and even though God gets you through in the end, its so much work at the present. But yea I know the rewards far surpasses the deeds not only for myself but for the poor people around me that has to put up with all my rubbish.

I think Im feeling so discouraged now cos Im tired. I think tommorow I'll prolly be happier and more energetic and I know God is faithful and that together we'll get through this. Cos I could never ever do this without His help and His strength. And I don't expect to change within the next 5 months either because seriously, this whole changing business just takes absolutely forever. This is prolly why Jesus came to save us cos one lifetime aint enough time to cut it. Thank God for Jesus. :p hehe.

How Deep The Father's Love For Us

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Author/Singer: Stuart Townend

Experiment #1

Had a conversation with a friend which inspired this experiment. He didnt follow through but I did. hahah its not really an experiment.. more like... random acts of stupidity. He says this is good cos as teenagers, we usually wake up late, in time for 2 meals instead of 3. We all know breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so we have rolled two meals into one. We present to you, the Brunch 2003.

Eat cereal with soup.

I tried: Continental chicken cup soup with Uncle Toby's Sports Plus cereal.

It tastes like: Crunchy chicken soup.

Pros: You get all your essential vitamins and minerals and its more filling than just soup. It is also a fast dish, easily prepared and nice to consume during cold weather.

Cons: Raisins and chicken soup. Ugh.

Overall: Delightful. I would eat it again in a heartbeat.

Conclusion: A myriad of possibilities, one must be bold and try different combinations. Stay away from the raisiny cereals and yea...froot loops with beef soup doesnt sound too appealing either.

*Credits: N.Choo*

Hey Hey Hey Hey

We're tiny, we're toony, we're all a little loony.

Your pain is my pain.

Crux

My decisions are like the Southern Cross. It is always there, ever prominent. Sometimes, it's hard to find. Sometimes, it is confused with other constellations...the decisions of other beings, more celestial than I. When read well, it can guide a person, guide me, to the wiser end. Most times, we forget the tilt of the aiding tip and lose our way. We float amongst such wondorous beauty that we forget our destination, our past, our future. Before long, we would have traveled deeper and deeper into uncharted galaxies and in doing so become engulfed in the dense emptiness that is space. I often find myself forgetful of the tilt and when I do remember, I often dont care. It is a dangerous decision to not care. But my decisions are like the Southern Cross.

The Death of My Profiterole...

My profiterole fell on the floor
What could I say, I had no more
I felt a sadness within my soul
The death of my profiterole.

The deed was done, O woe is me
I curse the law of gravity
It robbed me of my morning's goal
The death of my profiterole.

The tray it was all mine to eat
The body soft, the insides sweet
My addiction has now taken its toll
The death of my profiterole.

O profiterole I bid Thee farewell
We've had our good times, got along so well
Dont feel neglected, you first I chose
Now welcome the birth of my Dominoes.

*footnote: This is based on a true story*

The Day After Yesterday

Today is the day after yesterday
The day I believed I'd have more to say
But whaddaya know its all still junk
I think I'll go eat a chocolate chunk.

- end of nonsense poem -

-due to unexpected events, my thoughts of the day will have to be postponed-

Slee..e..p..

Hello.
Sleep is good. Havent had much sleep lately. More sleep during exam period.
Sleep makes all things beautiful.
Yesterday, I was sleeping, and my friends got back form the Hillsongs night rally and apparently they rang the bell like 3 times and apparently I got up and opened the door for them and the thing is....i didnt remember any of that!!? Like this morning thanked my other friend for opening the door last night and he was like...uhmm....you opened it....
Like..... . o_0;

Got a guitar cable from friends yesterday. Happiness. Play guitar till eyes dropped out. Play guitar till heart dropped out. Play guitar till fell asleep. Sleep is good. It is good to sleep.

zz..Z..z....z...

blog doesnt allow you to post images . . . :( *wahh* ;.;

Hillsongs

The Hillsongs "Shout God's Fame" Conference has finally started, with the "grand" opening last night. Three of my friends are attending it... its pretty good apparently. Another friend and I are just bumming at home. Hahahaha pure joy. We fed some ducks today!! Yay. :p

Anyways, yea a whole bunch of us met up and attended last night's concert at the Sydney Superdome. It was PACKED!! And there were people from all over Australia, a whole section from New Zealand, and a couple from other places...quite a few from America and UK too. The Kiwis were sooo cool...like the entire block of them did the Hakka-Hakka ( a traditional N.Z. dance...Im sure you must have seen the All Blacks doing it ) haha it was awesome. So yea had praise and worship and a talk and the Katinas did a performance. Their harmonising was is soo good. OH! And this guy from the crowd, he sang the American national anthem ( he's from Florida )...his voice is absolutely amazing! I was mesmerised throughout the song and even after he had gone back to his seat....I couldnt get over it. God must have been in an excellent mood when He made this guy's voice! I was so impressed I even felt patriotic just listening to him sing. Man. . . .

Im so so so so SO happy that my friends managed to come over and that we get to do cool stuff like this together. I've said it before and I'll say it again; I am TRULY blessed!!!!

Beacon@Sydney?

Hehehe... a whole bunch of my friends are over for the holidays. All of them I met ages ago at our little Malaysian church back in Bangsar. All of us have come to Australia to study....the two guys are from Canberra, the two girls from Melbourne. Yea its so cool cos having them over is like having a mini-BGC camp. So nice! I didn't think I would ever feel this way again till I went back in Dec but awwwrgh!! This is just the best ever... and today we went to church together and they got along soOoo well with each other I was so happy. Yep... theres really nothing like good friends and theres really nothing like good OLD friends cos you know so much about them already that everything fits comfortably.. like you dont get weird surprises about them and you especially dont manage to offend them cos we know which areas to tread and which to avoid. But new friends are cool too cos you learn lots of new things. Yea... so... sight seeing Sydney but I feel like Im home. Life is seriously grand. So grand.

Sliced Bread

I bought bread today after like goodness knows how many months and upon tasting it.... I had to consume another 6 slices! I tell you.... bread is just the most gorgeous tasting stuff!! Cant get enough of it...

"Traffic jams are the result of the fruit of progress."
by some nut, I cant remember who.

Independance Day

" Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world, and you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind"... that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interest. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom -- not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution, but from annihilation. We're fighting for our right to live, to exist. And should we win today, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice, "we will not go quietly into the night, we will not vanish without a fight... We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today, we celebrate... our Independence Day!!! "
President Thomas J. Whitmore
(taken from the movie Independance Day)

Well....its not really the 4th of July yet but yea....this is exactly how I felt after exams. Which would be ... now. Isn't life grand?? ;)

i hate software so much. you have no idea how much i loath, despise, execrate, abhor, dislike, abominate and detest it. I absolute positively definately RESENT this most horrible and torturous subject. . .

@#$%$&*^#!!!

An Ode to my Exams...

As exams drew closer,
My knowledge grew deeper,
The more that I know,
The more I forgo,
The more I forget,
The less my intellect,
And so why bother study,
When your brain just gets more muddy,
Stupor thickens your skull,
Social skills become dull,
Fingers are chewn to bits,
Too much info makes you schiz,
You waste your youth while you're still young,
At 19 you're already too high strung,
The madness grows, it fills the air!
You cross the line but you don't care,
I guess we do it just for the thrill,
Of being a citizen of Nerdsville.

Coolness Factor...

Last night I had a typical family dinner with my extended family. As usual there were the warm smiles, silly jokes and plenty of wine to go around. This time however, a friend of mine graced our food laden table and him coming from a family that isn't very close knit, he was just bowled over by his experience. See the thing is, I never had much of a family as a kid. I originated from your typical broken-home type family and grew up a typical family-hating scoundrel. Or not so typical.

My paternal granma and her siblings are soooo close to each other that only death could ever pry them apart, and even then not emotionally. Subsequently, most of the generations under them follow suit and this includes me. As I get older, I definately see the bonds that we as a family have. Just all the Chinese New Year dinners and Christmases are enough to make me realise how much luckier I am because even though my nuclear family is a complete break down, the garden around it is a myriad of beauty. These are truly beautiful people whom I grow to love more and more each passing year and needless to say, I am very VERY proud of my family.

Its unfortunate that my generation isnt as close as the generations before and its troubles me that as each sibling of my granma passes away, the bonds may never be as strong. As it is two have gone, including my grandmother, leaving only 3...one of whom is in a position that may cause some problems. I need to treasure and cherish these precious moments before it all slips away because it is an unevitable fact that eventually, everyone dies. Its only a matter of time.

Ive never really thought much about my typical family dinners but just having my friend over yesterday really blessed me because it made me realise even further how lucky I am. My friend's new hero is now my granduncle whose "coolnes factor" hit the ceiling apparently. hehehe. He is a pretty cool guy and is someone whom I respect very much. Yea. They say that blood is thicker than water and I cant say that I believe in that entirely but there is a certain extra emotion involved when around family you love. A feeling being around friends doesnt normally produce and Im truly blessed to be able to experience that which most people my age never get to.

Truly blessed.

Ugh... I've eaten so much seaweed I feel like a horse . . .

Coke for ... Cranium?

My goodness. I should've studied while I had the chance. Here I am cramming at 4am with my exam in hours. I am so totally doomed. Doomed I say. But Chem today was honestly not too bad. I know it could have been worse were it not for some God-sent friends and God Himself was right there with me, helping me along. Praise Him, ever-loving and sovereign Lord.

Broken Angels..

Exams make you nostalgic....well not really. But they do make you go online for no reason thus resulting in mindless browsing. So i decided to look at some pictures of my friends and...its so weird....i look at all these incredible people and think like..wow. They've achieved SO much. Its amazing...Im only 19 and yet so many lives have coincided with mine and im sometimes sad to think of my future with them. As it is Ive lost contact with half of them, but that doesn't mean that I dont think of them. I actually do, and quite frequently.

Im so proud of my friends that I've made over the past years, especially my teenage years. These are people who have soo much potential, they have so much to give, so much to achieve. I really hope with every drop of cytoplasm in me that every one of them get to grasp their dreams. Nothing would make me happier than to see the people whom I struggled with through endless torment, who I shared abundant joy with, who shaped so much of my character achieve happiness. Everything of what and who I am today is due to these people.

I truly believe that everyone who enters my life was put there for a significant reason, angels sent by God. And its so weird cos we all think that we're so useless and ordinary and its true sometimes....sometimes we're everybit as bad as the next drug addict or prostitute yet God manages to use us in all our brokeness to enrich the lives of others. And thats what we really are. We are God's creation, made in His image sent down to earth for a reason. God's broken angels.

I praise God for using us despite our weaknesses, I thank Him for all the broken angels in my life.

argh

cant....study...so.....screwe..d.............. ;.; *sob*

Trails of microorganisms...

Its exam time yet again and like the dutiful student that I am (or not hehe) Ive been studying and my goodness... reading up on microbiology gives me the creeps. To know that there are all these microscopic beings crawling,oozing, scuttling everywhere...ugh. Its making me like paranoid or something. yuks xp

And to follow up on the 100km walk thingy, my friend's group finished in 38 hours, 10 hours later than a group which consisted of 50 year olds! hahahahahaha but yea funny as it is, it wasnt easy. Throughout those 38 hours they only got 2 hours sleep and some people were injured/fell sick. Im really proud of all my friends and even those whom I dont know for completing it. But one thing dodgy is that each member has to pay $100 just to enter....thats....weird ok cos yea...people are supposed to sponsor their walking 100kms and they have to pay to walk..... like what!? Doesnt make any sense...i hope this wasnt like a scam thing. So this friend of mine wrote an "essay" on his experience for a bunch of us. Its really good reading...makes one feel as if they were there experiencing it.

I had initially thought of joining it next year but after all the tales...well....i think ill just volunteer to dish out soup at the checkout points!! hahahahaha. :P

I hate how our parents generation screwed up ours. Its so unfair.

Recipe for a good night..

1) Good music
2) Good friend on the telephone
3) Good soup
4) Bed

A good life can be so simple sometimes.

The day after.

Missed blogging yesterday due to an overwhelming sense of duty for my beauty sleep. I slept for 11 hours and I feel great! Hehe. Yesterday was a pretty interesting day I think for alot of people. . .

Firstly, it was my cousin's uni graduation day. So yea everyone in her year/course graduated and its nothing short to be proud of. As a first year uni student, I now have alot of respect for people who have gone through uni. My goodness... its heaps tough! And computer programmers....dont you EVER say theyre stupid becos Software 1001 was the hardest thing I took this semester....so hard that Im dropping it next. Not worth it, I say. Im sorry for being so stupid :<

Secondly, you ever heard of American Idol? Yea some brilliant producer decided to bring it here and they were having auditions at Wentworth Building, University of Sydney.... my uni, incidently. Apparently 4000 ppl showed up and the response was so great that they've decided to extend the auditions by a day. A chance for some of them to become noticed. Yea, good for them. God's given them a talent and they should use it, otherwise it'll go to waste. Would be better if they gave it back to Him but hey, who am I to say such things. Im just a newbie blogger with absolute dribble.

Thirdly, Friday the 13th of June was also the day Oxfam(?) had their 100km walk in aid of...well...AIDS. A couple of my friends went for it and I must say, Im rather impressed. 100kms takes about 30 hours of non-stop walking and that means forgoing sleep. Im inclined to believe that my friends are still walking as it probably would have only been 25 hours since they started. Now this is something. They're helping people by giving, sacrificing. Most times we drop some coins into the Salvos box and we think, "well, Ive done my good deed of the day." But that doesnt really cut it, does it? Those few coins didnt really make a bg impact on our lives....we could afford it. Yea but people who do things that hurt them, make them sacrifice like the 40 Hour Famine or the 100kms Oxfam Walk, thats really something. It shows that theyre serious about helping others and it shows a true noble quality within them. Im proud to have friends like that and I can see that its people like this who can go really far in life cos they arent afraid to take challenges by the horns and to just go for it.

Lastly, A-Levels exams in Malaysia just finished! Woohoo.. hehe. Finished for two of my friends anyways, not really sure if it included the whole bunch of them. Finally, freedom for them and yet they've walked through another gate into another road. This road leads them to university, and this road is by far narrower and rockier. Big decisions to make and just pray that God will give them the wisdom to do what pleases Him and to honour their family and yea, pray that they will have the opportunity to follow their dreams. Nothing worse than having all the time and potential in the world to realise your dreams but to not have the opportunity to do so. And thats the thing that sometimes scares me the most these days. I know Im gonna graduate in a coupla years and then its working adulthood for the rest of my life. I have yet so much to achieve, so much I could do. Technology is moving at such a fast pace I wouldnt be surprised if the whole world either transforms or collapses before I die. And to think that I may contribute towards some of that change.....its.....awe-inspiring...and terrifying.

Thus concludes my thoughts for the day, for some people its just another day and for some others, its a significant part of their lives, forever to be etched in their memories. We shouldnt forget that this good day, it is a gift from God. As Jamie said, " Everyday's a bonus!" :)

Gollum..

I logged out and thought of going to bed,
But i couldnt help thinking the thoughts in my head,
I had to come back, my gollum-ess greed,
I sometimes wish I'd a life to lead.

I knew this would happen..... I didn't want to become overly excited about my new "toy". I wanted to give it time and not immediately flood it with random thoughts but here I sit and I wonder what it is that possesed me for I have not anything to say. I am in fact shamelessly racking my brains for something witty and/or informative to post and have as of yet only come up with the above corny limerick. Tis a gift of mine though. The corniness.

Yesterday, I watched the Simpsons episode where Homer gets a computer and has his own website. Its funny how some things are so easy in cartoons, and some things not. Homer, a day old amateur, managed to set up his own website, fit in numerous animations and even had a decent page format. Without using HTML or java script! And he didnt even need to browse for that web space...it magically appeared just so Mr.X could post poppy cock rumours about mind controlling flu shots. Ah, if only weblife were so easy.

And yet, some things are just sooo hard for them to achieve. Like Homer growing hair. And despite Lisa being the child prodigy that she is (dont get me wrong, that woman rocks!) she, nor anyone else, has seemed to move grades since well.... 6th Grade. 7th for Bart. And yea, despite Homer being the "King of the Mountaintop", he still has fears like most men.... he begs his wife to please his boss, the "excellent" Charles Montgomery Burns even though he knows he'll never get fired. Odd how the cartoon producers choose which the Simpsons struggle in, seemingly effortless things; and yet allow them freedom in things that frustrate us. Perhaps, this is their scheme for boosting ratings and yet to gloat at our stereotypical lives.

First they make the Simpsons lower than us so we can feel good, then to save their own pride, they gloat at our inferiority. Hm yes.... and so we see in this way that the forces of good and evil are in perfect balance. This is what keeps the universe ticking....the Simpsons. I only hope now that I wont be drugged and sent to.... the "Island". ;p

In the Beginning...

In an attempt to not study/sleep I have come on to browse for something apparently too important to forgo and my brilliance has lead me to conforming to the art of blogging. Finally, the depths of my brains shall be flushed out for the world to see!! Welcome, a new era in my mundane life.