Last Day of Uni Ever

Which Biological Molecule Are You?

You are mRNA. You're brilliant, full of important, interesting information and you're a great friend to the people you care about. You may have sides to you that no one understands. But while you understand more than most people, you're only half-there most of the time.

p.s: they didnt mention that mRNA is actually really difficult to work with. An aspect that is not too far from the truth. Ahem.

swürple 1

I can do this.

Oh noes!!

Oh no oh no oh noes!!

You know what it has happened! It really happened!!! I never thought that it would but oh em gee it really got me!!!

For ages and ages I've always been abit paranoid that I would grow up and become a proper adult, but I never really wanted to be one because they always seem so grumpy.

And then today, all of a sudden...I realised that I've become one!!!

I've become tired and cynical and pessimistic and negative, never able to see the good things in life, never able to just appreciate the beauty of nature, taking everything I have for granted. What happened!? This is what I never wanted to become instead Ive just become a mix of old + grumpy with naive + insensitive. The worst of both worlds. ;_; This has to change!

Starting now.

Thesis In

all the work and grief and tears ive put into the entire year....

.... was submitted in today in 50 pages.

I am so dissapointed at my performance..... of course only realising too late yet again that procrastination is so not funny. How can i be so careless and just let my entire year become a mockery from my lack of discipline, my lack of discipline from being too too tired to write just one more paragraph in my thesis.

I guess Im feeling pretty sorry for myself now.... with only Reuben Morgan's words to cheer me up. And friends with the biggest of all hearts I have ever met.

Everything will work out, everything will work out
For Your glory, I know you'll use it all...

Everything will work out, Everything will work out
When I see You, I know I'll understand

How I long...for You

Nothing like a thesis to . . .

. . . make you feel as useful as a one-way cul de sac.

nothing like a thesis to make you rely fully on God

its your beauty Lord that makes us stand in silence

Kindness :: Chris Tomlin, Louie Giglio, Jesse Reeves

Circle Up!

Circle up, circle up around the throne
Old and young saints of every history
Great and small angels are and seraphim
Grab a hand, twirl a dance, circle up, and worship Him

Hear the hum of angel curiosity
The children of the Lord are gathering
Finally the day we’ve all been dreaming of
Called up forever in his love

Hear the thunder of unfolding wings
Feel the mighty wind their beating brings
Bring your grateful tears and flood the floor
Rise up and worship like a storm

Now hear His golden voice above it all
He’s saying this tear is the last to fall
A few simple words and another storm He calms
Invites us all into his arms

Circle up, circle up around the throne
Old and young saints of every history
Great and small angels are and seraphim
Grab a hand, twirl a dance, circle up, and worship Him

Chris Rice :: listen here

Procrastinate

You Are 19 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Useless Christians?

Disclaimer: This is a sketch of the thoughts forming in my head regarding christians and their purpose in life.I have to apologise that I havent got any Bible verses for referencing or back-up, but ill just attempt to use what I understand. These are my thoughts, not to be confused with authoritative teachings of the Bible.

Q: Does that mean that if we're somewhat unproductive; not doing any ministry, not really trying to glorify God much, we might as well die? Is it only because you can do good to others (the way Paul could in Phillipians) that we shouldnt suicide?

My simple thought is, we were chosen not because we were the greatest of nations, rather we were the least. It was only because of God's mercy and grace. Unproductivity seems irrelevant in the bigger scheme of things.

The extended thought :

Firstly I understand that God is love, and that He has always been in a relationship (with the Son and the Holy SPirit i.e. the Trinity Relationship Circle, TRC). And He wants to extend this relationship to us. So one of the reasons He created us is to be in relationship with Him. As a christian, Jesus lives in us and we in Him. Plus, we are seated with Him in the heavenly realms. Also, we are given the Holy Spirit which means we're pretty much in the TRC. Of course we need to actively seek to be in relationship with God as well, but its quite hard to be a non-nominal christian and not have a degree of relationship with God. If we are in relationship with Him, then we are fulfilling one of our purposes thus all is not completely lost.

Now I understand from Unit 1 of the Moore correspondence course that God also created us to glorify Him. And rightly so, because He is the only one worthy of anyone's praise and worship. If you really believe that Christ is your Lord and Saviour and have been saved by Him, that in itself is glorifying God. Thus default is, all is still not completely lost.

However, if ministry really weighs on your mind, the (faith - deeds = dead faith) equation is ringing in your head and you're not convinced that just by being a christian is glorifying God, then read Ephesians 2:4-10:

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

1) It is by grace we have been saved (not by works)
2) we are seated with Christ in the heavenly realms (relationship)
3) God has prepared in advance good works for us to do (read: God's word may grind slowly but it grinds finely. What He has ordained will happen, and you will do good works whether you see it or not)

I think what I'm trying to say is that, there is no good reason for christians to think they should die just because they dont seem to be doing enough for God. You can never do enough for Him, and its not like He needs us to do things for Him. Rather, He delights in letting us work alongside with Him. And it is a privilege, as tiring as it gets.

For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. Romans 14:7-8

The Death To Come

A reply to Tony's 3rd Oct entry "Things".

I used to think that as a christian, death was a very desirable thing. I think it was the desire to not struggle anymore, to finally be with God, to long for Heaven.

At the back of my mind, I'd always remember the famous Phillipians 1:21 quote, "To live is Christ, to die is gain" by Paul. I had no problem agreeing that to die is definately to gain. But it only gains the person who died. Which is why Paul goes on to say that even though death is so very tempting and that life is so much harder, he still wants to live in order to build up the body of Christ. In effect, its about other-person-centredness. Hm. Somewhat unconvinced. All well and good for an apostle, a chosen sent one, to understand that he has a purpose in life which needs to be carried out (and he certainly carried this out with much passion and perseverance. Kudos).

But then, at AnCon 2006 I read Psalm 143 and then verse 11:

For your name's sake, O LORD, preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.

and then it hit me . . .



My attitüdE had been wrong all along.

Sometimes I'd realise that my obsession with death was abit selfish because it was more of a personal want or need; to never have to go through pain and hardship...to finally rest and never have to struggle to keep up a relationship with God. I mean, of course I want suffering to end and I know that the only time this will happen is when Jesus returns and restores creation. However in the depths of my heart, I know my longing was selfish and personal because I valued my own death as highly as the Restoration. Short term vs long term.

This made me think that a christian's attitude in life is not to mourn for the lack of death, rather to mourn for the lack of life, and to embrace the opportunity to change this. Also to rejoice in the opportunity to build up the church and to glorify Him while He patiently waits for more hearts to turn to Him.

I still find it appealling to have an early death and retire early. But I also now think that its probably only half the mindset a christian should have. The other half would be to want preservation of your life, as painful as it may be, for the Lord's name sake.

Procrastinate

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||| 43% Stability |||| 13% Orderliness |||||||||||| 46% Accommodation |||||||||||||| 56% Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 63% Intellectual |||||||||||| 50% Mystical |||||||||| 36% Artistic |||||||||| 36% Religious |||||||||||||||||| 76% Hedonism |||||| 23% Materialism |||||||||||| 43% Narcissism |||||||||| 36% Adventurousness |||||| 23% Work ethic |||||||||||| 50% Self absorbed |||||||||||||||| 70% Conflict seeking |||||||||||||||| 63% Need to dominate |||||||||||| 50% Romantic |||||||||||||| 56% Avoidant |||||||||||| 43% Anti-authority |||||||||||| 50% Wealth |||||||||||||||| 63% Dependency |||||||||| 36% Change averse |||||||||||| 43% Cautiousness |||||||||||| 50% Individuality |||||||||||||||| 70% Sexuality |||||| 23% Peter pan complex |||||||||||| 43% Physical security |||||||||||||||| 70% Physical Fitness |||||||||||||||| 64% Histrionic |||| 16% Paranoia |||||| 30% Vanity |||||||||||||||| 63% Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||| 76% Female cliche |||||||||||| 50%

Stability results were very low which suggests you are extremely worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.

Extraversion results were moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

trait snapshot:

paranoid tendencies, irritable, anxious, fidgety, dependent, worrying, emotionally sensitive, prone to regret, depressed, second guesses self, somewhat fragile, dislikes change, prefers organized to unpredictable, suspicious, phobic, craves attention, not a risk taker, low self control, very sensitive to criticism, unadventurous, does not make friends easily, defensive, obsessive, low self esteem

Have you noticed...

just how bitchy ive become lately
just how insecure i really am
just how much i adore him
just how dusty my room is
just how rusty my brain's become
just how fast time flies

... regression is such a sad thing.

Finally!!

My internet is back!! Finally! I heart it so much!!! T_T