Just another one of those great moments when you chew your fingers to stubs and you dont feel like doing anything in particular.......

Princess Mononoke...

I learnt how to play the theme song for Miyazaki's Princess Mononoke. I tell you... its such a beautiful song. We practised it for the first time in a band last night, and there was piano, violin, viola, cello, drums, accoustic and electric guitar. It sounded sooo nice. And we practised in this old church, so the accoustics was amazing.

Last night I kept playing it till the wee hours of the morning and I reached a stage where the line between conciousness and unconciousness blurred.... and while playing it I imagined blue butterflies dancing amidst waterfall mist and a sun-speckled forest floor. It was a beautiful state to be in. I didn't want to go, and I stubbornly kept going on till I got it wrong too many times to be happy. So I went to bed.

But I tell you, that is a most beautiful song, and that is a most wonderful state to be in. The land of eternal peace, the land where fairies exist. I want to go back there tonight.

Matrix Revolutions

I finally watched the Matrix Revolutions yesterday. It wasnt too bad. Lots of heart-string tugging moments, what with love being the true hero of the movie and all. I must say though that the ending was abit unsatisfying. I will go no further in respect of the people who have not watched it..... but I will keep my thoughts for another week or so.

The Importance Of Being....

I was talking to my sister yesterday and she said that I've become a nerd. That I was not fun anymore. I got the impression that perhaps I had become too grave. This is because I've always had a certain level of pride in education and my knowledge in science, which certainly would not have increased tremendously from when I last talked to her. I asked her what it was to be fun. She said acting like a 14-year-old.

I didnt like being 14....it was a hard year for me. I grew alot in that year.

I then told her maybe I've grown. And I thought....how horrible. One thing I've noticed about adults is their lack of ability to find anything other than themselves important. Children regard everything as potentially important. The worm in the ground, their favourite soft toy, the reasons to everything they see and dont see. Adult importances revolve around less arbritrary substances, and they always put the importance of being an adult before the importance of anything else. As for children, it is usually the other way around.

I cannot quite grasp the essence of the difference in importances, however I tether bewteen the likelihood of both ends and I fear that I am creeping towards the one which I for so long longed and yet disliked.

This is a rather worrying moment for me. When you are a child, adulthood is but an arm's reach away. But once you become an adult, you will never become a child again. Senility does not count, by the way. I must preserve the child in me lest I forget. I will be terribly sad if that day ever came, when the child in me crawls out in mournful disgust at how viscous my soul had become because of adult importances. It will flee, and my chambers will never again resonate with it's laughter.

Ugh...

Its such a hot day today. Honestly, Australia is like either too cold or too hot. You only ever get a total of 2/3 weeks of just-nice days.

Its horrible to sweat consistently....makes you feel unproductive and grimy. Sweat makes poor swurple pickle.

>.< ;

Overwhelmed...

Well this is it. End of the year, end of exams, end of so many things....and the beginning for so many other things. Theres a whole rampage of emotions churning in my fragile soul, begging to be released. But it cannot. It must not. We must be part of society. We cannot do the things that make people uncomfortable. And this is what makes my soul so fragile, so precious.

My emotions, they play in my heart like an ochestra, multiple lilts multiple tones. Marbled light flit through the crystal chamber and are reflected in my eyes, my speech, my thoughts. The world seeks to numb you. They tell you to be happy and that happiness is the ultimate goal. Pitiful beings. It is in pain, in sorrow that makes things beautiful. It is in suffering that allows you to truly feel, in torture when one truly understands. I am not morbid, nor am I suicidal. I am merely stating the facts of life.

Happiness is a wonderful thng. I thrive on happiness. In fact, I can honestly say that Im happy 78.3% of the time. But there come times when I forget what it is to be human and this is when I appreciate the sting of hidden hurts. It makes me swell with emotion and this is what makes life worth living. . . . emotions.

And guess what?

I'm overwhelmed.

To The Them

My goodness...yesterday, I saw this street busker....he's japanese and was touring for half a year before settling in Australia for the other half year to promote his album. He is SO GOOD! He's a solo accoustic guitarist and honest to goodness, his method of playing is very VERY unique. I have NEVER seen anyone play like him before, and it sounds fantastic.

I think his name is Naoki Jo or something.... his techniques just takes my breath away. Amazing....absolutely amazing.

Its really weird and wonderful the things we come across just in our daily lives. All these people whom God had bestowed mountless gifts upon... and without knowing it, they use it to bless other people. But thats the way God's gifts work, isnt it. For the good of His creation.

Man, now Im like looking at my guitar and not wanting to play anymore ;p hahaha

Finding Me

Don't tell me
How to be
'Cause I like some suffering...
Don't ask me
What I need
I'm just fine
Here finding me
Me...

*Taken from Finding Me, Vertical Horizon*

* shakes fist at fate *

I want to play the violin... ;.;